Buy Me Some Peanuts & Cracker Jack...

Friends, I have a vision. I see myself sitting alone on small wooden bleachers. I am wearing cupcake rain boots and holding a black lace umbrella. My hair is perfect. Nobody is around me. I am watching an intramural men's softball game. They aren't very good, but I cheer nonetheless. Every so often, one of them looks over at me. Confusion is written all over his face. Most of them share this sentiment. A couple of them laugh.

Yes, this is my vision. But Curtis tells me that two of his teammates have decided to get girlfriends, and now these girlfriends want to go to the games too. I am not pleased, but it's ok. I doubt they will have signs.

This morning I had the chance to fulfill my prophecy, but the game was cancelled. Curtis and I were upset. There is always next week! Oh yeah, and here I am in all my glory.

The No-ster Has Got Some Work To Do!

If you didn't catch it, The No-ster is my "pet name" for Noah. So are Babybunz and Jerk. (Sookie= Sookieboo OR Sookster, Charlotte= Charcharbaby OR Charlotte the Harlot, Sookie+Charlotte= The Goober Girls). Oh! I almost forgot. Noah's full name is Noah Jacques. It makes sense.

Anyway, we here at 2 Cats 1 Bun are eagerly awaiting Easter Sunday!! Not that lent is very easy. I originally attempted to cut back on my time spent on an addicting virtual world. It makes me such a dork just to play it... and then I'm not even cool there! So I'm like, Queen Uber-Dork. 

Charlotte is preparing in her own little harlot way. We're working on not whining and not being so self-centered.

Sookie has apparently given up sleeping in practical places as well as any physical exertion. I suppose she just wants to be your Easter Basket... Wooo

But it is Noah Jacques who bears the heaviest burden. We here at 2 cats 1 bun have our very own EASTER BUNNY!! The No-ster has stepped up and is currently in training. We have faith that he can hide millions of eggs around the US and be back by dinner. Or really just two plushie eggs in my room.. whatever.

So I got Noah and one of our lovely Eggs to meet, and I'd say it went along swimmingly! 

Getting acquainted...

Serious bonding time

Practicing hiding. I think.

Ding Ding Ding!!

You know, my cats are just like regular sisters. And I'm like they're mother whose wrath they fear more than oncoming traffic.

There's this little white outdoor cat who roams the neighborhood. It apparently has a morning routine- of which my house is a part of. It comes up onto the deck and sits right outside the sliding glass door, just looking in.

Charlotte flips the %*&$ out. She starts growling, hissing, puffing up, punching the door... However, she cannot actually confront her enemy- so what does she do? Turn on Sookie. One minute Charlotte's freaking out at this other unreachable cat, and the next she's leaping at Sookie and screaming like a banshee. My poor favorite Sookie. I just broke up a fight this morning. I thought- "OMG these stupid cats..." and then I realized that people totally do the same thing (as in, take something out on a sibling or friend).

They say you should never get in the middle of a cat fight because you could get seriously hurt. But when I get involved, they should be worried about the cats. I have no fear- I'm like the Cesar Milan of cats. I just scream politely ask, "What are you doing?" and they stop. They know that if they continue I will spank them so hard they won't sit for a week. Which is what makes me a true mother. Also, this is how I plan to raise my children.

Put To Good Use

Since I have to scoop their poop (I should toilet-train them), you better believe I put these cats to good use.  Like a personal foot warmer.

Behind The Scenes

During the holidays, quite a few families feel the need to send out a card saying "Merry Christmas from the Xxxxxs!" with a very lovely photograph of the family, or the children.  I hate these.  What am I going to do with your Christmas card/portrait?  Frame it?  Hang it on the fridge?  Neither, because if I have your family on my fridge and somebody asks "Oh! Are they your cousins?" I'll have to say "No, I barely know them actually..." which makes me look weird.

I want to see all the photographs that didn't make the cut.  The one where mommy is yelling at someone, baby's screaming, sister blinks and looks high... But nobody ever shares those.

Well, I have decided to take a family portrait of all of us here at 2 Cats 1 Bun.  Not for a Christmas card (although... maybe a Christmas letter to get back at those annoying second cousins who put their unborn child's ultrasound on a letter. "In October, Noah reached sexual maturity and hopped in circles around my feet while grunting like a pig!").  Our portrait will be used in the new blog design!! Woo!

In the meantime- here are some out-takes!

AHH! REAL MONSTER!

For the first time ever, the elusive Sookie Monster (Sookius Monstorius) has been captured on film.

The natural habitat of the Sookie Monster is underneath beds, and its natural diet consists of a person's time.  It is a very needy creature, and it requires at least two hours of cuddling a day to survive.  The Sookie Monster in this photograph is particularly skilled in choosing the precise moment when cuddling is most inconvenient for a person.

It is a horrific beast.  Three minutes after this picture was taken, the camera crew tried its best to capture the Sookie Monster, but the creature is far too cunning and swift.  It roams at large, and all people with a bed are urged to be very cautious.

***UPDATE***

We have received another photograph of the Sookie Monster!  Notice its focus and intensity as it seeks out its next victim...

Citizens, be very alert and take all safety precautions!

Species-confused

I briefly mentioned before that Charlotte emulates Bandit.  She wants to be him so badly it's sickening.  Sorry, Char, you're no dog.  But you can hang out in his crate if you want.  I guess.

(Bandit likes to collect things in front of his crate)

"I have a question Miss Karen.."

Yes, child?

"Where do cats come from?"

They come from the same place as many other things.

"!!!"

China.

"???"

See, if you look closely at the tail...

You will notice a small gold sticker.  It is tough to read...

But I assure you it says "Made in China".  Which means, then, all cats are made in China.

"Ooohhhhh.  Is that where I come from?"

No.  Q&A dismissed.

My Supervisor

For a brief period of time I had the luxury of working from home.  I could take breaks and grab snacks whenever I wanted as long as I got my stuff done.  Sweet deal.  Charlotte, however, was suspicious.  She did not think I would do any work at home.  So, she kept an eye on me.

I make funny faces.  And I did finish the project.