Cat In A Bag

I know the phrase "Don't let the cat out of the bag!" actually refers to the cat o' nine tails, but I couldn't help myself when I found my girls like this:

I said, "Charlotte!! Don't let that cat out of the bag!!" Which, by the way, is my favorite gift bag ever given to me. AK is so very creative.

This picture cracks me up. There are 100 different captions I could come up with for this, but I think it is perfect as is. 

Especially because right afterwards, Sookie retreated to the safety of the bag again.

It looks rather comfy, I'd say.

I'm Sick

I hate being sick. At least it helps me appreciate my good health when the virus is gone! Still, feeling like some beavers built a dam in your nose is no fun. So what's a girl to do?

Well, if you're this girl... you stalk your cat. BUT! You take it one step further and pretend you're a little mouse looking at said cat through a peephole in the wall.  Observe.

Ooohh! Now, if I were a mouse I'd be pretty frightened because obviously the cat sees me and knows where I live. I think it would be time to move.

No? 

Cry Me A River

Why is Sookie crying?

Could it be because I told her I was kicking her out? Or maybe she broke her leg? Does she have severe depression???

No. She's crying because Charlotte stole her blueberry box.

Oh Sookie, it's just a box. Cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it.

Wha??

I have a masochistic bunny and a lazy cat.

KBurg's Play House!!

I stopped by my favorite pet store today and dropped off a job application. Yeah I know, I think it's perfect too. Since I didn't want to look desperate, like I had nothing better to do with my time than stop by their store for two seconds (which I did not), I bought the babies some toys. 

Noah is happily chewing on a baseball made out of veggie minerals. Or something. And Charlotte is... well...

Oh, just don't tell my mom I brought fake mice into the home.. they freak her out.

#2

Time for another of Charlotte's fine whines. This one is a little more menacing than the previous... Actually, I guess it's more of a growl. Oh well.

So, there's this outdoor cat that has taken a liking to our backyard. It usually comes in the morning, but not so today. I was all set to record Charlotte whining for her dinner when her "friend" arrived and distracted her. I am pleased with the results.

Charlotte is so social. I've trained her well.

Caught In The Act!!

Noah and Miss Charlotte were caught getting cozy earlier in the evening. Sources say the two have been spending increasing amounts of time together, specifically out on romantic dates. Miss Charlotte denies these claims, and Noah could not be reached for comment.

I, for one, think the pictures speak for themselves. It is only a matter of time before these two announce they are a couple.

Also, this is an outtake- but I had to share it because it's kind of funny. 

They have laser eyes!! Target acquired.

Welcome to Cat-Napa Valley

Life has been pretty dull since Easter. I mean, Noah just wants to lay around and eat hay. Granted, he totally deserves a break, but now I'm bored.

I asked myself, what do people usually do when they're bored? And the answer came to me. Whine. Ah! And just like that, I was inspired.

I am going to take you on a Whine Tour, my friends! One that doesn't require you to be at least 21 years of age! You see, Charlotte is a whine-o. She's very experienced in the art of fine whine, and I thought she might share her expertise with the rest of us. She agreed! So, friends, here we are at stop number one!

NOTE: That whole head turning thing was not because I was twisting my head or dangling a treat. She does that on her own, although I have no idea why.

For The Last Time...

No, Charlotte, there is still no Easter Cat. There never will be.

Get over it. Today is Noah's day, stop being a brat.

The Obligatory Bunny In A Basket Pose

We here at 2 Cats 1 Bun are fully aware that no Easter is complete without a bunny in a basket and some fake eggs. First, we tried to be different and used a bowl. We quickly discovered that baskets are, in fact, superior.

Charlotte and Sookie joined... They're so angry that it's an Easter Bunny and not an Easter Cat. It's always about them. Don't worry Noah, you're still the star!

Easter Bowl... Meh

Oh, much better! We adhere to tradition!

Well, well. Hello Sookie.

You can tell Charlotte feels betrayed by Noah... How could he steal the spotlight?!

Charlotte feigns boredom. And looks like a freak whilst doing so.

Sookie checks out the basket and the eggs.

And then punches Noah in the head because she's jealous. Charlotte looks away in disdain. 

Also, here is Noah's booty. IT'S A COTTON BALL!

In short, Noah is the cutest of everything. And he's going to make a rockin' Easter Bunny in the morning! I adore him!

They Love Each Other...

Lighting: Poor. Image quality: Poor. Content: AMAZING. Well, I don't know about that last one. But I like my movie. It has a special effect.

The No-ster Has Got Some Work To Do!

If you didn't catch it, The No-ster is my "pet name" for Noah. So are Babybunz and Jerk. (Sookie= Sookieboo OR Sookster, Charlotte= Charcharbaby OR Charlotte the Harlot, Sookie+Charlotte= The Goober Girls). Oh! I almost forgot. Noah's full name is Noah Jacques. It makes sense.

Anyway, we here at 2 Cats 1 Bun are eagerly awaiting Easter Sunday!! Not that lent is very easy. I originally attempted to cut back on my time spent on an addicting virtual world. It makes me such a dork just to play it... and then I'm not even cool there! So I'm like, Queen Uber-Dork. 

Charlotte is preparing in her own little harlot way. We're working on not whining and not being so self-centered.

Sookie has apparently given up sleeping in practical places as well as any physical exertion. I suppose she just wants to be your Easter Basket... Wooo

But it is Noah Jacques who bears the heaviest burden. We here at 2 cats 1 bun have our very own EASTER BUNNY!! The No-ster has stepped up and is currently in training. We have faith that he can hide millions of eggs around the US and be back by dinner. Or really just two plushie eggs in my room.. whatever.

So I got Noah and one of our lovely Eggs to meet, and I'd say it went along swimmingly! 

Getting acquainted...

Serious bonding time

Practicing hiding. I think.

Ding Ding Ding!!

You know, my cats are just like regular sisters. And I'm like they're mother whose wrath they fear more than oncoming traffic.

There's this little white outdoor cat who roams the neighborhood. It apparently has a morning routine- of which my house is a part of. It comes up onto the deck and sits right outside the sliding glass door, just looking in.

Charlotte flips the %*&$ out. She starts growling, hissing, puffing up, punching the door... However, she cannot actually confront her enemy- so what does she do? Turn on Sookie. One minute Charlotte's freaking out at this other unreachable cat, and the next she's leaping at Sookie and screaming like a banshee. My poor favorite Sookie. I just broke up a fight this morning. I thought- "OMG these stupid cats..." and then I realized that people totally do the same thing (as in, take something out on a sibling or friend).

They say you should never get in the middle of a cat fight because you could get seriously hurt. But when I get involved, they should be worried about the cats. I have no fear- I'm like the Cesar Milan of cats. I just scream politely ask, "What are you doing?" and they stop. They know that if they continue I will spank them so hard they won't sit for a week. Which is what makes me a true mother. Also, this is how I plan to raise my children.

Put To Good Use

Since I have to scoop their poop (I should toilet-train them), you better believe I put these cats to good use.  Like a personal foot warmer.

Behind The Scenes

During the holidays, quite a few families feel the need to send out a card saying "Merry Christmas from the Xxxxxs!" with a very lovely photograph of the family, or the children.  I hate these.  What am I going to do with your Christmas card/portrait?  Frame it?  Hang it on the fridge?  Neither, because if I have your family on my fridge and somebody asks "Oh! Are they your cousins?" I'll have to say "No, I barely know them actually..." which makes me look weird.

I want to see all the photographs that didn't make the cut.  The one where mommy is yelling at someone, baby's screaming, sister blinks and looks high... But nobody ever shares those.

Well, I have decided to take a family portrait of all of us here at 2 Cats 1 Bun.  Not for a Christmas card (although... maybe a Christmas letter to get back at those annoying second cousins who put their unborn child's ultrasound on a letter. "In October, Noah reached sexual maturity and hopped in circles around my feet while grunting like a pig!").  Our portrait will be used in the new blog design!! Woo!

In the meantime- here are some out-takes!

Species-confused

I briefly mentioned before that Charlotte emulates Bandit.  She wants to be him so badly it's sickening.  Sorry, Char, you're no dog.  But you can hang out in his crate if you want.  I guess.

(Bandit likes to collect things in front of his crate)

My Supervisor

For a brief period of time I had the luxury of working from home.  I could take breaks and grab snacks whenever I wanted as long as I got my stuff done.  Sweet deal.  Charlotte, however, was suspicious.  She did not think I would do any work at home.  So, she kept an eye on me.

I make funny faces.  And I did finish the project.

Call Me What You Want...

But you can't ever call me a liar.  That is due to the fact that I don't lie.

Remember when I said that Charlotte is always watching?  Peeking out of places?

Your honor, the defense rests its case.

And, like a silent guardian, she watches over Winchester Drive.

She may not be the hero we need, but she is the hero we deserve.  (I may have watched Dark Knight last night.)

"Away, thou issue of mangy dog!"

That up there ^^ is a Shakespearian quote.  Well, I should say Shakespearian insult.  From the play Timon of Athens.  So why the obscure Shakespearian insult?  I'm brushing up on my Shakespeare, of course, because God has blessed us with the greatest acting talent of our time!  Nay, the greatest Shakespearian acting talent EVER!

Behold, here she is lying dead in the middle of the road, having just been brutally tickled to death by the feather duster she is laying on...

*choir of angels*

It's beautiful.  Charlotte has found her calling!

Attempted Murder

For some reason, cats are fascinated by plastic bags.  They bat at them, hide in them... and even try to kill one another with them.

My mother had gotten me a whole bunch of JUMBO ziplock bags to carry clothes to and from college.  I used them.  One time, after I returned home and unpacked, I left one of those big bags on the floor- open.

Sookie decides it's a good idea to climb inside.  That's when Charlotte sees her moment of opportunity.  I saw a commotion out of the corner of my eye.  Charlotte had gone and sat on top of the bag, sealing it with Sookie trapped inside.  Since there was a lack of oxygen, Sookie was freaking out (which is actually a very bad idea).

I, of course, threw Charlotte across the room and rescued my favorite Sookie.  Charlotte knows I'm onto her now... Oh how exhausting.

I would have pictures but I wasn't concerned with that at the time and cats have a hard time reenacting things.  So deal.